Can of air freshener: For use by trained personnel only. ( i knew that air freshener class i took in college would pay off someday)
Windex: Do not spray in eyes. (but they’re dirty!!!)
Toilet Plunger: Caution: Do not use near power lines. (o kaaay…)
Hair Coloring: Do not use as an ice cream topping.(But it tastes so good!)
Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only. (as opposed to what?)
Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark ( i should hope so!)
Earplugs
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe
Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
Triops Fish Food
Warning: Not for human consumption (damn dont let me eat the earplugs, the mattress and now the fish food! im hungry!!)
Rowenta Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body. (but its such a time saver!)
Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
Blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado (now you tell me!!)
Package of Fisherman’s Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship. (hahahahahahahahahaha!!!)
Bottle of shampoo for dogs
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
Hand-held Massaging Device
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.
Sign at a railroad station
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death.
Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
Shipment of hammers
May be harmful if swallowed.
Manual for an SGI computer.
Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers
6×10 inch inflatable picture frame
Not to be used as a personal flotation device.
Box of bottle rockets
Do not put in mouth.
Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean
Do not drive cars in ocean.
from a car commercial which shows a vehicle “body-surfing” at a concert
Always drive on roads. Not on people.
i dont know if they are all real, part of me wants them to be and the other part hopes that they think we are smarter than that. i found them at bored.com there were a bunch more but these were my favorite. especially the lozenge one lol
lol psalm those are funny too!